Assalamualaikum semua.
Dari malam tadi aku teringat-ingat pasal benda yang jadi dalam hidup aku up until now. I've grown up. Grown up enough to fight stupid things.
Sejak aku kecil lagi, aku dah biasa jadi antara yang terbaik kat sekolah. Kalau tak nombor satu, nombor dua. Pernah la jugak dapat nombor tiga sekali. Tapi tu masa primary school je. Kah kah kah. Sembang kencang betul!
Masa secondary school, aku dah jadi orang lain. 😊
Kenapa aku cakap macam tu? Semuanya sebab surrounding aku. Aku tak salahkan org sekeliling pun sebenarnya. Ada jugak aku yg salah. Tapi don't you think that you guys has crossed the line??? You guys treated me like trash. Can you imagined how a cheerful girl like me, become totally introverted up until now?
I miss my primary school memories. I can get along with people without hesitation. But now, it is the opposite. I feel so down to earth if it is about meeting with people. I cannot speak out what's in my mind. I feel useless that i can't even be confident in things that i know very well. I hate this!!
Yeah it's true that you guys already apologized to me. But apologizing without saying what you wronged me is much more annoying. Maybe that's why i cannot stand seeing you guys faces. That's why I'm building a huge wall between us. Stay disconnected is far more better than get hurt once again.
I know you guys hated me because of boys. But what did it has to do with you guys? You guys just being jealous to me for not getting what you want. You guys are so cruel! It is not me alone who trying to get closer to those boys. It were both sides! But you guys keep on judging me. Judging and then bullied me mentally. I hate to say this, but i don't know if i really forgave you guys or not.
I'm don't hold any grudge to you guys. I'm not that type. But please, don't show up in front of me. I'm really clueless of what to do what to react if i bumped into you guys.
Enough of talking about sad things. I'm trying to write happy things actually. Haha. What has gone into my head?! What were I'm thinking. HAHAHAHA
During those times in secondary school, i get involved with boys. In love actually. Haha. I'm that type of girl who cannot say no to any love confession. That's why people labelled me as a playgirl 😭😭😭
Among those boys, i got dumped by a boy same age as me. That's was my first time get really hurt. Maybe because of both of us still a kid and cannot think properly but yet gedik nak ada relationship. Kah kah kah.
And there was also a guy that make me feels so lucky. He is a good guy. Hehe. But taken already. Haha.
Itu je la aku nak cerita. Cerita panjang2 kang orang tak suka pulak.
Aku memang introvert gila sekarang. Nak jalan pun rasa insecure. Tahap insecurities aku ni kritikal gila. 😢😢
Apa la nk jadi. Doakan aku jadi diri aku macam primary school ye. I miss the old me.
Semoga kita semua dilindungi Allah dari sifat hasad dengki dan perkara yang tak elok.
Itu sahaja dari aku hamba yg hina ini. Kalau aku rajin nak tulis, aku tulis lagi.
Assalamualaikum .
